Clothes Maketh The Man
by Carly-M
Summary: Five times Jeff didn't wear a couples costume for Halloween and one time he did.


**Title:** Clothes Maketh The Man  
><strong>Author:<strong> Carly  
><strong>Character(s)Pairing(s):** J/A, Study Group  
><strong>Spoilers:<strong> Up to 3.05  
><strong>RatingWarnings:** PG  
><strong>Word<strong>**Count:** 3616  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> I don't own Community.  
><strong>Summary:<strong> Five times Jeff didn't wear a couples costume for Halloween and one time he did.  
><strong>Notes:<strong> Disregard the costumes in 3.05 – I went a bit off-book.

* * *

><p><strong>2011<strong>

"Please guys?" said Annie, shooting a winning smile around the study room table. "I think it'd be a really cute idea."

"Sorry Annie," said Troy, "but me and Abed already decided on a couples costume last week."

Abed nodded. "Bert and Ernie dressed up as Stormtroopers."

"Soft on the inside, hard on the outside," grinned Troy, giving Abed a high-five. "We'll be like the Oreo of costumes."

"Why don't you just dress up as Oreos then?" said Britta.

Troy looked at her in bemusement. "Uh, sure, maybe if we wanted to be _lame_."

Pierce cleared his throat. "I'm afraid I'll have to decline, too. I won't be at the Greendale party this year; Hawthorne Wipes is hosting a bash for all its major clientele."

"Oh darn, that's too bad, Pierce," said Annie, feigning disappointment.

"Yeah, because everyone was _dying_ to see what Pierce kept under his loincloth, I'm sure," said Jeff, messing around with his phone.

"Well at least he thought about volunteering," said Annie, crossing her arms. "I see you're sticking to your usual 'play it cool' card."

"Exactly."

"I thought you would have jumped at the chance to parade your half-naked body around like cock of the walk," said Britta.

"One," said Jeff, holding up a finger, "don't say cock of the walk again. Ever." He put out another finger. "And two, there's displaying the goods and then there's displaying the goods Tarzan style. The guy wears the jungle equivalent of a thong."

Annie huffed in frustration. "It's because I said the c-word, isn't it?"

"You said _what_?" gasped Shirley.

"Cookie?" said Troy.

"No! 'Couples' costume," said Annie. "It doesn't actually mean you have to be a couple you know. Look at Troy and Abed."

"I'm not sure they got that memo," Shirley said under her breath.

"I've always been single on Halloween, and since this year's no different I thought it'd just be fun to dress up with a friend," shrugged Annie. "That's all."

"Sorry, Annie, but the answer's still no," said Jeff. "I'm not really a matching costumes kind of guy. Plus, I've already bought mine this year."

She rolled her eyes. "Let me guess, you bought a suit and you're going as James Bond."

"Pfft. No. I'm not that predictable."

* * *

><p>Britta poked Jeff's stomach so he could lift the drink cup to her mouth while her arms were stuck. "Thanks 007," she smirked.<p>

Jeff put the cup down and surveyed the party. "That's George Clooney in Oceans 11 to you, pterodactyl girl."

"I'm not a pterodactyl, I'm a bat," she said, flapping her wings.

"Whatever."

"Ooh, someone's cranky. It wouldn't have anything to do with Jane having a little too much fun on her own would it?" She nodded towards Annie, dancing with Captain America and Kung-Fu Panda, both of whom Jeff recognized from her Poli Sci class.

"I'm not cranky. Ja—_Annie_ can do whatever the hell she wants."

"Does that include hunky jungle men?"

Jeff felt his jaw clench as some buff, tanned douche dressed up as Tarzan cut in on Captain American and Kung-Fu Panda to dance with Annie.

"Guess she got her couples costume after all," said Britta, gauging Jeff's reaction.

Jeff watched Annie giggle as Tarzan pretended to lasso a vine around her and reel her in. "He looks like he's bothering her. I better go see if she's OK."

"Yeah, the laughing and smiling is really sending out SOS vibes." Britta put out a wing to stop him. "Just let her have some fun, Jeff, 007 doesn't always need to save the day."

"I wasn't trying to. And for the last time, I'm not 007." He stayed by the punch bowl while Britta grabbed Shirley to help her in the bathroom. Annie glanced over mid-dance and gave him a wave. Jeff smiled and waved back, his face falling when Tarzan started beating his chest making Annie laugh. Putting down his drink, Jeff slipped out the back entrance unnoticed.

* * *

><p><strong>2012<strong>

"Peanut butter and jelly."

"No."

"Antony and Cleopatra."

"No."

"Fling-fla and lee-loo."

"No."

"OK, now I _know_ you're not listening," sighed Annie as Jeff made a left turn into the mall parking lot.

"Yes I am."

"I didn't even say real words last time."

"Sure you did. Fling-fla and lee-loo, they're in Yo Gabba Gabba, yeah?" Jeff smirked as he felt a whack on his shoulder.

"_Je-ff_. Can you please take this seriously?"

"I'm sorry. I forgot choosing a Halloween costume was a matter of life and death."

"It will be soon if you don't help me make a decision."

Jeff parked the car but remained seated while Annie hijacked the rear-view mirror and did her last minute 'apply ten coats of lip gloss' routine.

"I thought we already made a decision," he said. "You go as whatever you want to be, and I'll go as whatever I want to be that involves minimal effort."

Annie pressed her lips together to even out the gloss. "So nothing's changed then?"

"Annie…"

"No, it's fine. Whatever. I just thought that since we were together this Halloween it'd be nice to do the couples costume thing. But obviously not." She got out of the car and shut the door.

Jeff stepped out and closed his door, resting his arms on top of the roof to face her. "Are you mad at me for not wanting to be a jar of peanut butter?"

"I'm not mad at you, Jeff, just frustrated. I mean we've been together for nearly a year – I thought you would have been over this commitment-phobia by now."

"Whoa, back up there," said Jeff, circling the car to stand in front of her. "Commitment-phobia? Where are you pulling that from?"

"Isn't that why you're so anti-couples costumes?" said Annie. "Because you're worried that it's the next step to having 2.5 kids and a white picket fence?"

Jeff laughed, making her frown. "No, although thank you for that scary mental image of half a child. I'm anti-couples costumes because I think they're ridiculous."

"Gee, thanks."

"No, really, they are. They're either too cutesy, too pretentious or just too uncomfortable. Case in point." He nodded to a couple exiting the costume hire place with a horse outfit. "One night spent as a horse's head to your partner's horse's ass does not scream happy, sexy couple time to me."

Annie raised an eyebrow at him. "You're no fun at all, you know that?"

"Hang on, I thought you said I was supposed to take Halloween seriously…."

"It's like you _want_ me to keep punching you." She sighed and linked arms with him. "Come on, fun-sucker, let's go find some costumes. Actually there's an idea, maybe you could go as a vampire."

"Isn't that a bit lame?"

"I don't know, I think vampires are kind of hot."

* * *

><p><strong>2013<strong>

"_Hello_, nurse!"

Troy and Abed rolled out their cartoon tongues as a woman in a sexy nurse's outfit slowly inched away from them.

"Guys?" said Annie, shoving a handful of candy corn in her mouth. "I know we decided on a group costume, but I'm kind of getting sick of people thinking we're inviting them to a cartoon orgy. It's creepy."

"Animaniacs aren't creepy. They're _adorable_," said Troy, adjusting his red Wakko cap.

Abed nodded, making his Yakko ears flop around. "It's true. We're just trying to embrace our costumes. You're kind of letting the team down, Dot."

"Hey! I'm embracing," Annie pouted. "Did I or did I not sing the Presidents song with you on your karaoke machine before?"

"With about as much enthusiasm as a slug on stilts," said Troy.

"That doesn't make sense."

"It's Halloween, it doesn't have to make sense."

"… That doesn't make sense either."

Troy glared at Abed. "I told you we should have gone as Ross and Rachel."

"Then you wouldn't have looked as cute," said Britta, waddling over to them in her purple, inflated Violet Beauregarde costume. "I wish I could've been a singing coyote too."

"Singing what now?"

"Coyotes. You know… Alvin, Simon, Theodore." Britta faltered slightly under their incredulous looks. "… You guys sang before, I thought that was what you were."

Troy slowly blinked at her. "Sometimes you make my brain really sad."

"You could have worn my costume if you wanted, Britta," said Annie, scooping up another pile of candy corn. "I only went along with it because Jeff didn't want to do the couples thing again this year."

"Where is Captain Forehead anyway?" said Britta, glancing around.

"He's working."

"On Halloween?" gasped Troy. "Isn't that against the law?"

"Jeff's just trying to make a good impression at his old law firm," she smiled softly. "Let them know he's serious about being there this time."

"He should show them the YouTube clip of everyone chanting, 'Jeff Winger graduates' outside the Dean's window," said Abed.

Annie's phone started to vibrate. "Speak of the devil... Hello?"

"Hey," Jeff's voice filtered through the phone. "Happy Halloween."

"You too. How's work?"

"Oh, you know, a laugh a minute."

"Has Alan tried to convince you to go to a strip club yet?"

"Only three times. I think our little boy's growing up."

Annie chuckled and moved away to a quieter section of the apartment. "Do you think you'll be able to come to the party?"

"It's not looking good. I've still got a crapload of paperwork to get through."

"Oh… that's OK."

"I'm sorry. Make sure you save some candy corn for me, though. You look like you're enjoying the world's supply."

"Shut up! I haven't been eating that… Hang on," she whirled around, "you said look." Annie broke into a grin when she spotted Jeff standing right behind her with a matching smile.

"Gotta go, some hot chick's giving me the eye."

Annie rushed forward, standing on tiptoe so she could give him a kiss. "You made it!"

"I even dressed up too," he said, gesturing at himself like a Price Is Right model. "Say hello to awesome lawyer guy."

"Aww, you dressed up as a fictional character," she said, smirking when he pretended to be offended. "I'm kidding, you look very handsome. Just like you did last year in your suit… and the year before that…"

"OK, I get the message," he said, holding up his hands in protest. "You think I should wear a suit every day because you want to ravish me."

She grabbed the top of his tie and pulled him down to eye level. "You're lucky I'm on a sugar high, bucko, and I'm in a good mood." Annie slid her hand into his and laced their fingers together. "Come on, let's go find the others. And watch your head on the fan!"

* * *

><p><strong>2014<strong>

"White shirt… white pants… Am I going as that Colin Firth guy or one of the Bee Gees?" said Jeff, eyeing the ruffles on the shirt collar with disdain.

Abed dumped the rest of the costume onto Jeff's work desk. "It's one hundred per cent authentic Mr Darcy. Would I joke around with movie costumes, Jeff?"

"I'm sure the world would implode if you did. It's just… _ruffles_." He shoved the clothes back into Abed's gym bag. "What was in the water back then to make people think they needed neck doilies?"

"You were the one who wanted the costume, Jeff. I just provided the goods."

"I know," Jeff sighed. "Thank you."

Abed nodded, glancing around Jeff's office where half-unpacked cardboard boxes lined the walls. "I like what you've done with the place."

"I haven't had much time to settle in since the promotion," Jeff admitted. "That's kind of why I sent out the Bat-Signal to you for the costume help. Annie's been on a Pride and Prejudice binge all week dramatically swooning about wanting her own British guy."

"Happens to the best of us," said Abed. "I thought you weren't into couples costumes, though?"

"I'm not. We've just both been so busy lately with work that I thought I'd do something nice for her." Jeff scrubbed his hands over his face. "Although maybe I should change my mind and just go as a corpse because this job is slowly killing me."

"This would be the part in the lifetime movie right before you have a heart attack at your desk."

"Thank you for that comforting and not at all terrifying thought."

Abed stood up and slung his satchel over his shoulder. "I'm sure it won't happen to you. Although now I've said that I've probably jinxed you and it will happen." He pondered this. "But now that I've acknowledged the jinx then…"

"Let's just leave it there, Abed," Jeff interrupted with a strained smile.

"Cool, cool, cool."

* * *

><p>Jeff folded the invite to his work's Halloween party into an airplane, resisting the urge to scratch his neck where the ruffles had already begun to chafe him. "How long does it take to put on a costume, Annie?" he called out from their kitchen.<p>

"You can talk," she yelled back through the closed bedroom door. "I'm not the one with the scary bathroom routine in the morning."

"Yeah, well, this beard isn't going to magically sculpt itself." He slumped against the bench. "How come we have to do a big reveal anyway? I feel like we're on a trashy makeover show."

"Because it's more fun this way." He heard her shuffling towards the door. "OK, are you ready?"

"For about fifty years now."

"Be quiet."

"OK. I'm ready." He struck what he hoped was a regal pose in the middle of the kitchen just as Annie emerged from the bedroom… wearing a Connect Four board. "What the hell?"

"No way," she said, her eyes widening at his outfit. "Please tell me you didn't actually listen to me for once in your life."

"And please tell me that Connect Four was something they played back in ye olden times." He crossed his arms. "I thought you were going to be that Bennett chick?"

"I was," she said, carefully making her way over to him. "But then I thought there was no point since you're allergic to couples costumes." She tried to muster up a smile. "We're not really on the same page much these days, are we?"

Jeff wasn't sure how to respond, grateful to receive a text message. "It's from Britta and Troy," he said, showing Annie the photo attached to it. Their two friends were smiling back at them; each dressed up as a cherry that was joined together at the stem.

"We Britta'd our costumes this year… and Britta didn't," murmured Annie.

Jeff uneasily met her eyes before snapping his cell shut. "Maybe we should go to the party before the apocalypse sets in."

"I think it's already started."

* * *

><p><strong>2015<strong>

Jeff knocked on the door to Troy, Britta and Abed's apartment, becoming annoyed when a fake spider web stuck to his hand.

Britta opened the door with a smile. "Hey, you made it! Come in."

"Thanks… giant alien?"

"I'm a praying mantis, genius," she said, ushering him through with a spiky hand.

"Ever think about wearing something easy and non-ambiguous one year?"

Britta gave him a once over. "So I can be more like you and recycle my costumes?"

"Oh, you noticed, huh," said Jeff, smoothing down his David Beckham suit.

"Duh-doy. Although you've really ramped up the beard this time. You're kind of like a well-dressed caveman." She gave him a sympathetic look. "Is this the broken man beard?"

"No."

"So you're completely fine with the fact that you and Annie have been on a break for a month now?"

"Try forty five days." He paused. "Not that I care. Whatever," he scoffed. "I'm fine, trust me."

"Hey Jeff!" said Troy, sidling up to Britta in an angel outfit. "Why have you got two different shoes on? Did you come as a fancy hobo?"

Jeff looked down and noticed his one black shoe and one running shoe, rolling his eyes. "Great." He glanced back at Troy. "Did you and Abed come as good versus evil?"

"No, I'm matched up with Britta tonight."

Britta noted Jeff's confusion and explained. "Troy just heard the praying part." She smiled at her boyfriend. "I think it's cute."

"The cutest," Jeff drawled. "If you'll excuse me, I'm just going to go and drown myself in the fake blood punch."

He heard Britta call out something to him but ignored her and kept walking. Opting out of the punch when he noticed weird, unrecognizable things floating in it, Jeff grabbed a beer and headed out onto the tiny balcony.

"Hey," a small voice said behind him.

Jeff turned around and squinted into the dark corner, his chest slightly constricting when he realised it was Annie. "Hey," he replied, his voice rough.

She stepped closer to him, dressed in a short black dress and stilettos. "How are you?"

"Good," he said, taking in her outfit. "You?"

"Same." Something clicked in her brain as to what his costume was and she couldn't help a wry smile from gracing her lips. "You're kidding me…"

"What?"

"You've got your Beckham clothes on."

Jeff looked sheepish. "Yeah. I couldn't really be bothered this year."

"Guess who I am."

"Uh, a really hot person with great legs?"

She ducked her head. "My friends from work decided we should all dress up as the Spice Girls this year, and I'm…"

"Posh Spice," Jeff filled in the gap. He shook his head and chuckled. "Mr and Mrs Beckham."

"Looks like I finally got my couples costume, huh?"

They smiled sadly at one another. Jeff leant on the balcony to look out at the streetlights, feeling Annie do the same beside him.

"I miss you," Annie said in a quiet voice.

Jeff turned to look at her. "I miss you too."

"I don't know what to do."

"Me either."

She picked up a small rubber spider and squished it in her hands. "We can't go back to the way things were. Everything was so tense with your job and with my job…"

"So we'll fix things."

"How?"

"We'll think of something."

Annie slipped her hand into Jeff's and rested her head on his shoulder. Jeff leant across and kissed her forehead before wrapping his arm around her.

"Your beard is really scratchy," she murmured.

"I know. We'll fix that too."

* * *

><p><strong>2016<strong>

"You can't make me go," Annie pouted, lying on the sofa.

"I'm not making you do anything," said Jeff. "You're the one who wanted to go to the Greendale Halloween reunion party, not me." He glanced at the flier. "Or should I say the 'Halloweenion' party. It's nice to see the Dean hasn't lost his creative touch."

"That was before I knew I was going to feel gross and fat."

"Annie, you're two weeks away from having a baby. How do you think you're supposed to feel?"

She blew a strand of hair away from her face in frustration. "I don't know? Glowing? People keep telling me I'm glowing and I'm like, 'Uh, is that because I have a sheen of sweat glistening on my face because even bending down to get the remote is like a workout these days?'"

"People know nothing. Don't listen to people." He sat down on the sofa, lifting her legs so they were resting across his lap. "You look amazing."

"You have to say that or else I'll beat you up."

"This is true."

She gave him a wry smile before hoisting herself into a sitting position. "Pass me that shopping bag over there, I want to show you something."

Jeff grabbed the bag from the coffee table and handed it to her. Annie took out a bundle of tissue paper.

"I know the baby won't be here for Halloween but I saw this in the mall and I couldn't resist." She undid the tape and pushed the paper aside to show Jeff a tiny teddy bear costume. "Isn't it adorable?" she cooed. "Our own little bear cub."

Jeff ran his hands over the felt ears before looking at Annie and noticing how excited she was. He smiled to himself and gave her leg a squeeze. "Hey, um, so I think I decided on a couples costume we could wear next year."

"Is this the Roger and Jessica Rabbit idea again? Because I know my breasts are huge at the moment, but they're not really going to be the same come next year."

"No, it's not that," he laughed. "I was kind of wondering… will you marry me?"

Annie stared at him in shock, still holding the bear costume in the air.

"Um… Annie?"

"Oh my God! Yes!" she yelped, trying to lean forward to haul him into a hug. Jeff broke into a grin and hugged her back before cradling her face to kiss her.

"That's more the reaction I was after."

"Oh my God," said Annie in a more horrified tone. "I ruined our proposal moment by talking about boobs!"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "I personally think every conversation should have a little boob talk in it."

She laughed and hit his arm. "Well now we have to go to this party so I can brag about our news. Come on, help me up so I can get ready, 007."

Jeff straightened his bowtie before taking her hands to help her stand. "Where would you be without me saving the day?"

"Don't let your head get too big or I'll tell everyone you're a butler."

"Does that mean I can tell everyone you're a beach ball?"

"Engaged for a second and already there's grounds for divorce."

_End_


End file.
